MEN'S SEXUAL ADDICTION (SA) MEETING SOBRIETY DEFINITION
Being Christians, we merely have to ask God what His standards are for our sexuality. We cannot trust our own sin nature to provide us an answer that will lead us into truth and righteousness.
So as we struggled to define “sexual sobriety” we learned that if we were to set our definition at the internal level we would hand out sobriety chips for 30 seconds rather than 30 days. This task perhaps would be overwhelming. We were also aware that we could not be our brothers’ judges, “for who may judge the heart of a man but God?” Therefore, we leave the individual to work out for themselves their own Inner Sobriety and we turn to the Scriptures for guidance on our definition of External Sobriety.
As Christians, most of the standards for our sexual behaviors are very specific in the Bible. Sex between persons outside marriage is clearly prohibited by the scriptures. However, the Scriptures are notably silent regarding masturbation. Although God does not call masturbation sin, it is evident that masturbation is accompanied by lustful thoughts and fantasies, which are not God’s will. Matthew 5:27-28, explains that if you even look at another lustfully you have already committed adultery in your heart. In addition, 1 Corinthians 6:12 reads “You may say, ‘I am allowed to do anything.’ But I reply, ‘Not everything is good for you.’ And even though ‘I am allowed to do anything,’ I must not become a slave to anything.”
Therefore, sex with one’s self is not soberness if we are truly seeking both an External and an Internal Sobriety.
Our definition of sobriety, is clear:
For the unmarried Christian, sexual sobriety means, having no form of sex with self or with anyone else.
For the married Christian, sexual sobriety means having no form of sex with self or with anyone other than the spouse. The married person may need to consider a “season” of abstinence from sex with spouse, especially early in the recovery process.
And for everyone, sexual sobriety means seeking and achieving progressive inner sobriety.